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In this last part Susan and Astrid have to make a decision about if this is to keep going and if so, how does it happen? Advice comes from an unexpected quarter though. It’s taken awhile to get around to finishing this story and I’ve included the epilogue in this part as well, because, it’s an epilogue and ridiculously short! Thanks to the reader who asked for this story, I hope you liked it.
Shaima.
It’s Sunday night and Anna is in bed, so is Robyn but Penny stayed up a little later because she had some preparation to do for tomorrow. She was going to work but because of Rodney’s committal she decided to spread her workload amongst her staff. Before the actual trial date is decided there is a committal hearing where the Department of Public Prosecutions (DPP) submit their evidence and the magistrate decides if it’s a strong enough case. A defendant’s solicitor can ask for a psychiatric assessment, ask if bail can be granted and it’s up to the prosecution to either agree or oppose any of these things. The defendant is also asked how they intend to plead, guilty or not guilty and they can change their mind later on of course.
Rodney’s committal is separate from his co-conspirators and Penny thinks this is because he intends to become a witness against the club. She’s a bit nervous about the outcome because if he helps the police enough it may affect his access to Anna. On the other hand, turning on bikies tends to end in violence. Either way it’s a difficult situation but she’s told me to work from work tomorrow in her home office in case associates of the club or gang members knock on my door.
Having said that however, I’m relying on the police for further information, Penny’s only acting on their advice and with that being said let me get back to the story.
Mum’s call wasn’t exactly a surprise, she’d called a couple of days earlier just to say g’day but this was the first time we’d had a decent conversation. She was quite talkative although she’d had a few wines already. She’d already said hello to Anna but now that I was talking to her Anna went into the kitchen to help Astrid with breakfast. I told mum a bit about what had happened last night and she was quiet for a few seconds.
“So, where do you think you’ll go from here? Will you move over there or will she move here?”
“Mum,” I chided her, “it’s been one night, we’re not there yet.”
“Even so,” she replied, “it’s something to think about.”
She wasn’t wrong there but I wasn’t about to talk about it there and then. I was still trying to come to terms with the changed dynamics. This new realignment had been somewhat expected, in a way it was inevitable given our shared past but it didn’t mean it should continue. In the end however we would have to come to a decision about what happened next. Neither of us were about to have the morning after the night before talk just yet. I think both of us were just trying to take it in our stride and deal with it in our own way.
We’d been there five days already and we had one more day in Copenhagen before we got the train to Stockholm, a five and a half hour journey. We spent it out at Reffen, a food market on the island of Refshaleøen, which was a smorgasbord of culinary delights from all over the world. Afterwards we detoured to Christiana, an old hippie commune. I was a bit unsure about the place beforehand but it wasn’t as radical as I thought although the smell of marijuana was noticeable but the art on display and for sale was quite good.
That night we had a conversation about the previous night once Anna was in bed and to be honest we were both on the same page.
“I’d like to see it go further,” Astrid commented, “but we’re older and we live on opposite sides of the world, and there are barriers to immigration in both countries.”
“I know but we’d be fools to at least not consider it. There are plenty of obstacles but there were back then too but let’s agree to consider the options, I’ve learned that every problem has at least one answer and usually more than one to be honest.”
“So, should we share the same bed again tonight?”
It was a tempting thought and I briefly considered it before I shook my head.
“Let’s not tonight but when I go away to Stockholm I’ll be thinking about it and I have to tell Anna the truth as well.”
“That’s what worries me,” she frowned, “what if?”
“What if what?” I raised my eyebrows.
“She’s my daughter and I told mum this morning while you two were in the kitchen.”
“You told your mum already?”
“Yeah, she kind of suspected it. I came out to her a few months ago, I don’t think I mentioned it to you because it wasn’t such a big deal although I found out something unsettling about dad.”
“What?”
“He had a brief affair with a guy when he was a missionary in the Philippines. Mum told me about it when I came out to her. It was all hushed up by the missionary society who employed him on the condition he leave the country and resign. They apparently made it look as if he was on furlough,” I propped etimesgut escort my chin on my palm.
“Wow,” Astrid’s eyes widened, “truth is stranger than fiction.”
“True but it explains why he was so anti gay and partially explains why mum got a full time job a few years later. She forgave him because he promised it’d never happen again but she admitted that she wished she’d left him sooner.”
We talked for about an hour or so before going to bed about all kinds of subjects from politics and religion to music and sex, along with other things. It was probably the most relaxed I’d been since I arrived in Copenhagen. I mean we’d relaxed at night but I was busy posting pictures on my social media feeds or talking to Anna. It almost felt as if we were a married couple!
The next day however was a bit more hectic. I had to pack our suitcases although I left a few things at her place and then we caught a train to Copenhagen Central and another one to Stockholm. Anna was wide awake when we crossed the Øresund bridge and she filmed the trip across the bridge on her phone. Eventually though she drifted off to sleep and woke up an hour before we pulled into Stockholm.
Astrid had written down the directions beforehand and at first I was worried I’d have to resort to a translation app to get a ticket but thankfully the woman at the ticket counter spoke fluent English but it still took a bit of squinting at maps and walking around the station before I found the train to Hornstull, the closest station to Långholmen Island. We’d booked a dormitory at the hostel because it was cheaper. It’s a former prison situated on the shores of Lake Riddarfjärden, the easternmost bay of Lake Mälaren but my first task was to educate Anna about the importance of the plastic room card! She wasn’t the only one to get an education. Ingrid, the woman who booked us in was quite helpful. She told me about a city pass, similar to the Copenhagen card that would give us free entry to museums and other attractions. She then went on to explain the subway to me and its colour coded lines.
There is a marked difference between Stockholm and Copenhagen, and it’s not the language. The latter city is far more laid back and down to earth, whereas Stockholm appears more stylish and a little bit snobbish. It’s a different feel to the second largest city, Gothenburg, the people are more fashion conscious and it’s more expensive. I’d been warned about it by Astrid the previous night but I was too enthralled by the architecture and the city vibe.
Our first stop was the Nordic museum followed by the Viking Alive museum and finally the Abba museum, Anna’s become quite the Abba fan in the last few months. I was part of the Abba revival with Muriel’s Wedding and Priscilla Queen of the Desert, so it was nice to see that their music can move from one generation to the next. Afterwards we went to Gröna Lund, an amusement park next to the museum and whilst sitting at one of the tables by the water I met Ingrid. I didn’t recognise her at first because she wasn’t in uniform but she certainly recognised me! We’d taken a break from the rides to have some hot dogs and Coke.
“Hey,” Ingrid raised her hand, “how are you?”
“We’re fine,” I nudged my glasses, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“It’s our anniversary,” she nudged the woman by her side, “this is my partner, Ellie.”
“Hey there,” Ellie grinned.
“Hiya,” I looked from one to the other.
Both women looked to be about the same age, they were in their forties I thought although Ellie did look a little older. She had dark brown hair and a roundish face and roundish hips, Ingrid had blonde hair and a slim figure and then I noticed the girl, who looked to be in her mid teens.
“Do you mind if we join you?” Ingrid nodded at the seat opposite us.
“Of course not,” I replied.
“What do you want?” Ellie asked her.
“I’ll have an ice cream,” she replied.
“Oh,” Anna straightened up, “jag vill ha glass tack.”
I stared at her and Ingrid chuckled.
“Wow, you’ve been here less than twenty four hours and you know how to ask for ice cream.”
“Google translate,” she nudged her glasses.
“So that’s why you were looking at your phone this morning,” I took the purse out of my handbag, “well if that’s the case,” I stopped as Ingrid raised her hand.
“Allow us to get it, as a reward for using Swedish. What flavour would you like?”
“Um, I don’t know,” she frowned.
“Well how’s about you come with Kaylee and I,” Ellie smiled, “and we’ll see what we can find,” she looked at me, “what would you like?”
“Um, I’m fine but thanks.”
“Whatever,” she inclined her head, “come on then.”
Ellie, Kaylee and Anna left the table and Ingrid smiled crookedly.
“I must say, I’m impressed. We get English speaking tourists who are regulars at the hostel and they can barely speak a word of Swedish.”
“She’s really taking it all in,” I replied as I watched Anna walking away, “she etlik escort was sitting on the train this morning tapping away at her phone but I was too busy making sure we didn’t go past our stop.”
“Of course,” Ingrid grinned, “so, did you get the pass?”
“Yeah, we’ve used it a few times already but I couldn’t use it at the Abba museum.”
“A national tragedy,” she nodded smilingly, “I’ll inform the king immediately.”
We both laughed and then I glanced over at Ellie and the others.
“So you and Ellie are married? Where did you meet? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“At a summer camp,” she replied, “she was one of the youth leaders and I was a volunteer. We fell in love then and there but it took years before we got together.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was a Christian summer camp and her parents were Baptists. She felt guilty because she’d fallen for a woman and so I backed away and thought that was the end of it,” she replied.
“Except it wasn’t, evidently,” I smirked.
“No, one day I got a friend request from Ellie and one thing led to another, she’d been married and divorced. She came over for a visit and we spent time together but we were just friends but after she went back to America she called me and asked me out. We dated online for six months but when I offered to move over there she said that if anyone was going to move anywhere it was her, we’ve been together ever since.”
“Huh, that’s a coincidence.”
“In what way?”
“I’ve just gotten back in contact with my old girlfriend recently, we’ve been staying at her place in Copenhagen for the last few days,” I trailed away.
“Aha,” Ingrid smirked, “so, is love rekindled?”
“Kind of, we’ve um, we have had sex but we agreed not to talk about it for a few days.”
“That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about it.”
“But I’m nervous.”
“About what?”
“The immigration thing and I haven’t told Anna yet, she still thinks Astrid is a friend, which is true but she was more than a friend years ago.”
Ingrid looked past me for a minute or so and then propped on her palm.
“The first problem isn’t so much a problem as a series of steps and protocols. A lot of people make a lot of noise about emigrating to Scandinavian countries and most of them are ignorant. We take in people all the time, from all over the world. Find out what you have to do and the requirements you have to fill and start the process. The biggest problem is supporting yourself for a few years as well as finding a job but that’s easy enough to be honest.”
“And the second?”
“Kids just want security. They want to know that mom will be there in the morning when they wake up and when they come home from school. They are resilient. Kaylee had no idea that Ellie and I were lovers but Ellie sat her down and explained it to her and like you, she was worried but in the end it was all fine. She treats me as her second mom, but it’s not up to me to tell you what to do, she’s your daughter.”
“Yeah,” I touched my glasses, “there’s a part of me that thinks fuck it, just do it but the other part of me is thinking of the drama of uprooting everything, you know?”
“It’s a big step but once you’ve made the first step, whatever that is you’ll find the next step is a bit easier and the step after that is even easier. Eventually you’ll wonder why you took so long to make up your mind,” she replied.
“The first step will be to out myself to my daughter,” I nudged my glasses.
Ellie, Kaylee and Anna came back shortly afterwards with ice creams and we sat chatting for awhile before Ingrid and Ellie decided to go on some of the rides with Kaylee. Anna went on a couple too but I didn’t, partly because I was feeling a little tired and partly because I was chewing over the idea of coming out to my daughter. How did one come out to your primary school aged daughter? There was no manual that I could think of and I didn’t want to Google the answer because I’d be swamped with ideas, both good and bad.
Inevitably however, it came out naturally a couple of hours later as we walked back to Östermalm over the bridge known locally as Djurgårdsbron. I’d stopped to take a picture of the lake when Anna suddenly asked me what I thought of Astrid.
“I like her,” I glanced at her briefly.
That didn’t satisfy her.
“How much do you like her?” Anna took a picture herself.
“A lot,” I replied.
“As much as Ingrid and Ellie like each other?”
I was faced with a choice then, deflect and put it off until I was ready or come out but I’d put this off for long enough.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” I put my phone back into my bag.
“When I was younger, before I met your dad… Astrid and I were girlfriends, like auntie Annabelle and Josie are now.”
She blinked at me, looked away briefly and then asked.
“Does dad know?”
“No, I never told your dad because we broke up before I met him, and I didn’t think it was a good eve gelen escort idea to tell him that anyway.”
“Why?”
“Um, it’s complicated,” I replied, “when you’re older I’ll tell you but for now I want you to know that Astrid and I still love each other.”
“Good,” she nodded, “because I love her too… but are you going to marry her?”
“I’d like to,” I frowned, “but it’s complicated.”
“Why?”
“Because we’d have to move here or she’d have to move to Australia.”
“Why is that hard? We could live in Copenhagen.”
Now it was my turn to look away as I tried to process this reply.
“I’d like to move here but what about your friends and your cousins and aunties and uncles?”
“I could use your Messenger or WhatsApp or Skype,” she replied, “and we could still go back home to visit them, couldn’t we?”
“Of course we could,” I replied, “but living here is different to visiting here, do you understand?”
“I do,” she nudged her glasses, “but you’d be happy with Astrid and I’d have two mums like Sokha, Jorani and my friend at school, Kylie but you’re still my real mum.”
I felt the lump in my throat and my eyes watering up and a moment later I hugged her. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me.
“We can do it, mummy.”
When I told Astrid later that night she was silent for a full fifteen seconds.
“Okay, so now we need to make some decisions.”
“Well to kick it all off,” I bit my lip, “I’m not proposing moving in together without the prospect of getting married. We at least need to go through a marriage ceremony, both for our own security and to satisfy visa requirements and I need to find a job.”
“I agree,” she replied, “I was going to suggest the same thing myself.”
We talked for the better part of half an hour before I went to bed. Anna was asleep on the top bunk but when I got undressed and got into the bottom bunk she climbed down and snuggled up to me. She fell asleep in my arms but I stayed awake for another half an hour or so before falling asleep and when I woke up I felt as if a load had shifted from me. I’d taken the first step but how many more would I have to take before this half-baked fantasy became a reality?
That’s all for now, I’ve got to get to bed but I’ll write more in the morning.
***
It’s Monday morning and I should be in the office but instead I’m working in Penny’s home office, I had to call the school this morning and explain that due to police concerns Anna won’t be in school today. She’s downstairs in the basement sewing room with Robyn. I’ve started work but it’s a slow day and so I’ve continued on with my story. I started it this morning after breakfast and in between eating breakfast and calling the school I’ve managed to get a start on it.
Going back to my previous entry in this rather large journal, I saw that I’d woken up clear-eyed and confident but with a few lingering doubts. Nevertheless, I was determined not to let any of that spoil the day and after breakfast we continued our whistle stop tour of Stockholm, starting at Globen with Sky View. It’s a ride in a globe-shaped lift to the top of a stadium with spectacular views of the city and after that we headed back into town to visit the Royal Palace and the Nobel Museum followed by a visit to the Vasa Museum.
We finished up having dinner back at the hostel. One of the tips Ingrid had given me the previous day was to buy our food at a supermarket and take it back to the hostel to cook. She even gave me a list of cheap supermarkets, I.C.A seemed to be the cheapest option. Ingrid was on duty when we got back to the hostel and Anna greeted her with a wave.
“What’s for dinner?” Ingrid inquired.
“Pizza,” Anna replied, “and Coke.”
“The dinner of champions,” Ingrid winked.
As we were about to head upstairs to the kitchen however she left the reception and met us on the staircase.
“I was talking to Ellie last night and she wants to know if you and Anna want to come over for a meal one night, I’m working tonight but I’m off tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” I nudged Anna, “what do you think?”
“Ja visst,” Anna grinned.
“What does that mean?” I asked her.
“Of course,” Ingrid broke in, “okay, I’ll give you the address later, enjoy your meal.”
The kitchen was quite impressive, I’d expected the basics but this had everything you could need to cook a meal. Like I said earlier, in that part of the world everything is so efficient, it just works, we met some other guests from Italy and Spain, and a young couple from England. We made our way back downstairs an hour and a half later and Ingrid gave me her address.
“It’s literally over the footbridge and up a street, ten minutes walk from here.”
“What time?”
“Say about seven?”
“Perfect.”
“Okay, see you then. Where are you going tonight?”
“Not sure,” I replied, “what’s the city like at night?”
“Reasonably safe just don’t hang around the central station, too many drug addicts.”
I didn’t see any drug addicts at T-Centralen that night but maybe it was their night off but we went for a walk through Norrmalm, had some coffee and cake in a café and walked around some more. I actually felt safer walking around Stockholm than Melbourne. We made our way home and after I had put Anna to bed I hurried back through to reception to see Ingrid again.
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